6 Tips to Not Raise an Asshole Kid

6 Tips to Not Raise an Asshole Kid
On Me: Black Romper Overlay // White Boots // Gucci Belt // Star Necklace // Charms// Hermes Bracelet // On Him: Black Tee // Black Distressed Jeans// Gucci Sneakers // On Twins: 8am Apparel
Photography by Jessica B

Have you ever said “who the f raised that guy… wolves?” I feel like that’s the convo I have with all my girls swiping on tinder. I bring this up because Eddie and I are so determined to not raise these kinds of men. The asshole kid, turned manchild. We want to raise good people to their core, right? In a super ideal world, we want to raise adults that we would also enjoy spending time with – that’s the dream!

I’m spilling 6 tips to not raise an asshole kid.

Caveat and quick story for you: Yes our kids are under 2. No, we don’t know how they will turn out. No I’m not a parenting expert, but this is what’s working for us take it or leave it. Moving on.

6 Tips to Not Raise an Asshole Kid

Last week I was picking up the twins from daycare and the moment I stepped foot in their classroom, one of the boys started melting down – I’m talking full, kicking, screaming, melting the fuckkk down. And, I let him. Parents were literally stepping over him blocking the door, while I asked him calmly and then helped get him to use his feet and walk outside. Why? Because Mama ain’t got no time for this shit – hellllo there’s two of them! Tantrums will happen, but consistency in every situation has been paramount for us to nip those behaviors. Alright, now let’s dive in.

Don’t give AF about others around you

I’ll always parent my child regardless of onlookers. I wear my Mama blinders and don’t see them when I’m focused on my kid. I don’t care about the stares or the gawks, who f-ing cares because I’m doing my best to help my kid learn how to behave and communicate his emotions. Don’t be scared to sacrifice self-preservation in the name of parenting your child. It’s never worth it.

Pre-determine the options and stick to it

So we learned this one the hard way. For awhile we would ask ‘what do you want to eat’ and they’d say the same 3 things over and over again. Kids can only have so much greek yogurt, know what I mean? We now give 3 options for all meals. You eat this or you drink milk, any questions? If you are asking yourself what happens if they don’t eat? No. We don’t play and it only took one time of refusing food and shoving it to the ground that they only drank milk for dinner. You select the options and they will feel good about having “autonomy” to make their own decisions.

Sharing Some Tips to Not Raise an Asshole Kid

You will say please and thank you

Sounds obvious, but my LORD these kids play a battle of the wills. Twins vs Parents. We will not back down until you say please and I’m talking every time their sippy cup drops “what do you say?”. On repeat. Yes, it’s easier to give in, but we agreed this is really important to us and together Eddie and I are unwavering. Last week, my son kicked and screamed refusing to say please for 1 cracker – side bar he had said please for every damn cracker before it!}. This for the faint hearted and your patience will be tested to the maximum, but it’s so so important. These are the days where I pop a few CBD to keep me calm AF.

Bribery is a bandaid

Giving a kid a donut to get them to do what you want is not going to make them a better human. That’s not to say I haven’t given the boys a macaron from time to time to sit still for a pic {hellllo case in point right here}, but that’s not our method. When the kids are acting out, we don’t get them to do what we want with anything but words.

We snagged this tip from the Director of our daycare who dropped this knowledge bomb on us and we try our best to implement it: reward with the intangibles, meaning really praise when they do something well with a song or telling them how great of a job they are doing on xyz. Similarly, when they are freaking out, we won’t acknowledge the demands of the tantrum until he’s done or help him to calm down. If you give into the tantrum, you are rewarding the behavior.

Persephone Maglaya and her son

Go sit in the corner

We’ve been doing time outs since they hit one years old starting with thirty seconds. We do a three strikes you’re out method and though it takes a lot for a kid to sit still, we always end it with ‘I know you are learning and you are very good boy’ and -of course – a giant hug. If you think that a kid can’t understand what’s happening, I promise you they will. They don’t always calm down, but they understand that this is not where they want to be.

Say You’re Sorry

I have popped off before and have apologized to my almost 2 year olds. I remember my Dad doing the same thing to me – it humanizes us and leads by example. When you f up, you have to own it and it starts with us. We also make them say sorry to each other even if that means a high-five.

Okay so I wanted to end with this. As the twins are growing and evolving, Eddie and I are constantly syncing up on what we are setting in place, but remain fluid in the sense that as they get older, certain things have to change right? So what structures do you have in place to make sure your kid is not a jerky adult later on in life?

Till next time,

P

xo

1 Comment

  1. April 26, 2019 / 1:37 am

    Obsessed with this! ALL OF THE ABOVE! I adore you gf! Keep being awesome.


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