7 Tips for a Happy Marriage

Newsflash, my husband Eddie and I do not believe in Valentine’s Day; we believe in Valentines 365, so it felt apropos to invite him back to share our tips for a happy, healthy and still nauseatingly in love kind-of marriage. Have we made you roll your eyes yet? Sorry-not-sorry about that.

A little background, we’ve been married for nearly 7 years and together almost 11. I’m a product of several divorces, so making sure that my marriage is the best has been a life goal since I was 16. Alright so now you know and we are ready to dish:

7 Tips for a Happy Marriage

No Secrets Zone 

I’m not talking about in the literal sense of having secrets, which to be honest is a given. I’m talking about those things that you just don’t say that build up and bubble over. This is one of the biggest lessons we’ve learned together especially over the past 3 years. If something is bothering you *ahem ahem Eddie* – say it. Address it, so we can digest it together and then move on from it.

Pep Talks Through the Hard Sh*t

We’ve had our share of life bombs that have hit us. Family issues, career changes, fertility challenges, health problems – the works. When sh*t hits the fan, the other one steps up and takes the reigns on life. I’ve had moments of severe anxiety and depression, Eddie stepped up to make sure that food was made, the house was clean, that the world was still turning. Moments of darkness also call for daily pep talks. Eddie has made leaps career-wise, which are always scary and that’s where I knew I had to take over. Pep talks come in all forms – texts, emails, in person – all of it to ensure we were going to come out the other side on top. We are each other’s biggest cheerleaders.

*Dad/family since I know you are reading – I need you to put your virtual earmuffs on and skip this next one*

Have Sex Often

Really debated whether or not to share this, but we both agreed we had to. It’s so important to feel connected physically and emotionally. It doesn’t always have to be hot or long, it just has to be consistent. Let’s keep it honest – when I was preggo with twins, it was not fun nor cute for me, but it was still important to let each other know that you are interested and that the fire is still lit. I’ve always said the moment the sex stops, the relationship is on the rocks. We are all tired with a million obligations, but making time is paramount.

First Us, Then The Kids

We loved that Ayesha Curry came out and said that her and Steph Curry prioritize their marriage over their kids. The truth is that if our relationship is healthy and we have time for one another, there won’t be any resentment and we can be in it to win it as parents. Happy wife, happy life is true but happy marriage equals happy parents.

Constant Small Acts of Sweetness

I’m not just talking about random flowers, I’m talking about those extra things that make you know that they are thinking of you. For me, it’s when I’m traveling for work and I don’t have to stress about the kids, because Eddie has got it covered. I’ll come home and that giant pile of laundry is perfectly folded and put away. Eddie says that when I make him breakfast or write a love note and leave it somewhere cute is how he feels loved. All small, some of them free, but constant. We also send love texts several times a week {don’t pull out your gag bag just yet!}

Date Date Date

Dating doesn’t always mean going out. It can mean cooking for one another with a little extra effort or just putting the phones down and talking. This was actually something we had included in our vows – date often, date forever. Sometimes it’s just breakfast together or snuggling in bed watching Netflix. Of course, there are dinners out, but the intimacy again comes in those smaller moments versus the grandiose.

Get Out of Dodge

I will say we are so fortunate to have my parents and a team of family members across the world – literally – to help us. We have made it a point since the boys were 9 months old to get away for even a night. We take that time to reconnect, talk about our future, how we want to get there together and of course look at the 12,000 photos of our boys before we go to bed at night.

No Bodily Function Talk

This is not a joke and we take it super seriously. I don’t need to know. He doesn’t need to know. It keeps things sexy, because no matter what, no one needs to know. Okay?

So that’s it {for now!}

What keeps the fire between you and yours? Share with us!

Persephone + Eddie

xx