I kind of feel like this letter is way over due. As a Mom, we are often in pursuit of balance regardless of whether you are working or a SAHM. For me, this chase is in pursuit is compounded with the internal push-and-pull of wanting to be everything to my kids/husband and everybody. You take those feelings and amplified by the thousands – let’s call it millions – of critical voices from what we consume and this whole Mom thing goes from beautifully complex to making you feel crazy. I’m pretty open about not giving a f up about letting others opinions – positive and negative – infiltrate in my mind, in fact they aren’t even a thing, but I just keep bumping across groups online and in person of Moms who make this even harder for one another.
Differences in opinions is healthy. Criticizing others parents styles and opinions is just downright uncool, so I’m writing this not for me or my experiences with others, but for the Moms that I’m seeing and hearing being criticized or questioning themselves, this my loves is for you.
Everyone does things differently…and that’s okay.
Right now we are in a world where everyone is so sensitive to differences in opinions, but the truth is that we all have our own views and what feels comfortable for us/our families. IT IS OKAY that my method is different from yours – isn’t this what makes us all beautiful and diverse? Breastfeeding or not, ipads or nothing, daycare or nanny – can we just agree to just focus on our own children’s well-being? Get others opinions, but pick and choose who you let in your ears, mind and heart.
It’s okay to not love it everyday.
This shit is hard. Like really hard. Its not all rainbows and sunshine. We have moods. They have moods. We carry the weight of it all on our shoulders. Just because you have a bad day and are annoyed, doesn’t mean you don’t love your kids. It doesn’t mean you don’t love being a Mom. It means you are f-ing human, okay? I’m saying this, because I needed this said to me this week – just being honest.
Asking for help doesn’t mean you aren’t incapable.
My God I would be lost and certifiably deemed crazy if I didn’t have the love and support of our families and friends, but I don’t want you to think that’s all you’ve got. I’ve shamelessly asked strangers for help when I need it. I’ve also instinctively jumped in to help calm a kid down when you see that look on another Mother’s face that silently screams ‘h e l p!’, but utters nothing aloud.
We are all making mistakes… and that’s way okay.
I’ve said this before, but it’s worth repeating – we all don’t know what the hell is going on. Just faking it till we make it and that’s cool!
Save the drama for your Mama.
Have your opinions, but be kind-hearted to others who are also very sensitive about their kids, so you know that old adage ‘do unto others’.. like let’s just apply that to all of us.
You are doing a great job sweetie!
In the infamous words of Kris Jenner… ‘You are doing great sweetie!’ The truth is we are all trying and just like with anything else, there are days where we are better than others, but we are trying.
You might not need this pep talk every day, but if you did today, I’m here for you, because I am you.
Till next time,
P
xo