Picture this for a moment. I’m 4 months postpartum with my twins and at that point, I felt like a proverbial milk maiden – not the most delightful visual – but a truthful one. It’s 3am as the house is asleep, I’m sitting there with my Netflix episodes of Cake Challenges and pumping for the twins when all of a sudden I feel something. It’s my f-ing implant in my clavicle. I’m panicking. Now if you are just arriving here, I invite you to read “if you are thinking of getting your boobs done read this first” for all this to make sense.
How I hid a botched boob job for a decade
The implant that was always wrong aka my boob with capsular contracture was now a HUGE problem. Is it going to go down? A bad situation was now somehow worse and I was devastated. I went back to the original surgeon, who told me there’s nothing I could do for another 6 months- a year until after I was done pumping, but I’d need to fix it by removing the implants and putting in new ones. Though this was obvious, it never clicked to me that this in fact wasn’t normal. It wasn’t normal to have a messed up boob, I just decided to live with it. It wasn’t normal to have an implant dislodge.
I couldn’t wrap my head around going under again, because in my mind why would I do this to myself again? I’ve spent the past nearly decade hiding this botched job that went from bad to worse 3 + years ago and I’m so excited/scared/anxious all the feels to have my surgery with Dr. Lickstein of Elle Aesthetic Arts & Plastic Surgery and to start the year of 2021 not feeling this way, for once.
Many of your questions were wtf are you talking about, so I figured I’d just address this head on with you.
As Dr. Lickstein said to me, there have been more confessional photos – especially in my last post, because if you look hard it’s obvious, I’ve just spent the past decade trying to mask it.
It got to the point where I don’t feel comfortable not wearing a bra- even to bed and even in front of my own husband. {I know TMI, but this is really real for me.} If you feel insecure it has nothing to do with anyone but healing yourself. This is a tale of how you can work your angles, taking photos from one side and using my hair or arms to cover my insecurities. In this instance I had to come clean to my team to help me cover it.
Over the past 6 months, I have spent the last year in pain as my other “good” implant bottomed out and started to find its way towards my back. You read that right. This feeling of pulling would happen particularly at night. And it caused me spiral into a panic attack thinking something else was wrong. So here I am, finally ready to move forward and make it right.
My sharing this with you once again is to say that no matter what you do, research it to the nth degree.
Don’t rush it. Don’t look for the cheapest option, it’s your body and your health. Also, if you are embarrassed or insecure, please don’t live your life in shame and handle it. I wish I had handled it sooner; however, I’m glad that I took my time to find the right person for me.
You will find my interview with Dr. Lickstein on my IGTV answering all your questions and mine and I hope it’s helpful. After my surgery we will get into it and share the reality of the surgery and the results. Please please ask all your questions, once again I’m an open book ♥️
Till next time-
P
xo