Here’s the truth. Marriage is really f-ing hard. If this is shocking to you – newsflash. It always makes me laugh how people think having a baby will help make your marriage better as it’s a whole other level of navigation where your marriage needs to be rock solid. If you’ve been following along for awhile then you may know that Eddie and I have been together for holy shit nearly 12 years and married for almost 9! If you ask him, I think he’d say he’s pretty damn happy and certainly I am, 150%. But this takes work, so here are 5 free ways to keep that flame alive and bright in your marriage:
Free Ways To Keep The Flame Alive In Your Marriage
Say thank you for all the small things
I love material things – helloo love shopping- BUT of all the things Eddie does, it’s the laundry and the fact that I DON’T do any laundry that makes me love him the most. It’s just not my jam and I bet it’s not his either, but he does it and I always say thank you for every time he does it or picks up the kitchen or does a stupid task I asked. The art of kindness is truly an art and shouldn’t be taken for granted.
Make time for sex
Jesus – Dad – earmuffs or skip to the next section if you are reading this. It’s just important to make the time and we always talk about it. Especially when the twins are acting very e x t r a it’s critical to feel connected. It keeps the marriage and intimacy alive.
Touch often and I don’t mean sexually
Don’t roll your eyes, but when Eddie and I sit on a couch, it’s really close – like usually uncomfortably close to the point where we are touching. At night, we are almost always holding hands or touching in some way – it’s small, but intimacy > than everything else.
Dance like no one is watching
Isn’t that so cliche it makes you want to vom. I know, but it’s true. The other night we were cleaning in the kitchen and just started to slow dance to bossonova 6th grader style {very boujie right?} and it made my heart burst. To me that is romance. Spontaneous romance.
Renew Your Vows Each Year – Wedding Not Included
Every year on our anniversary, we reread our vows to one another that he hand-wrote and I typed {revised of course morning of!} as a way of renewing and reinstating those vows and intentions. It matters. Even if you had traditional vows – it matters and will take you back to a place that feels fresh and deep.
I’m the product of witnessing several divorces, so for me succeeding in my marriage means succeeding in my life. When I’m tense with Eddie, I’m off with everything in my life, because we are one. One team. What are your tricks to keep that zest alive?
Till next time,
P
xo